August 26th- September 7th

August 26th

Professional hockey is a different animal. It is a different mindset. Professional hockey is about managing a situation, it is about mental toughness, it is about rolling with the punches and accepting all aspects of the game. I have been listening to a podcast from home from a professional hockey goalie in my town. On the third episode it discusses the negative thoughts that can impact our games. He speaks of faking it until he makes it and bottling up thoughts inside. Which I think I have been doing. (Unfinished thoughts)

August 31st

I am grateful, humbled and in awe of this experience. I know that we have only just started and there will be some difficult roads ahead but the things that I am doing currently are meaning full to me. I often think outload with Lex and in my head to myself that I am living an absolute dream. No other way to describe it. I think I am lucky but I also know that I have worked hard for this and Lex tells me that we wouldn’t be here without the hard work so it isn’t luck it is determination, will and grit that got us here. In the last weeks we have had fika, and enjoyed our time at our cottage in the hills before moving closer to the city. We have worked hard daily at practice and sweated for each other. We have enjoyed some traveling on our day offs and we have laughed and gotten to know each other exponentially. I am sitting here writing this in a bit of downtime before we go to the rink and play our first SDHL exhibition game. This game means something to all of us and it will be exciting to see the outcome good or bad. A good outcome will give us the needed confidence in ourselves and the determination to stay on top, a poor outcome will give us the desire to win and to improve, both equally needed. I sit here and I am reminded where I am, and what I am doing. I am playing professional hockey; I am being treated like a professional athlete in many ways and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. I am so grateful and determined to produce a product that is desirable so that I can continue to live my dream. I have found some of my best friends. We love to be around each other and we are all of equal minds. All wanting to be in this together. I work for them, and they work for me. I think that that is all you can ask of a teammate, to give there all for you and you do the same back. All giving 100% even when the cards aren’t in your favor. I am happy, I am comfortable and I want to be better for them.

September 7th

Wow, time is flying. Like I said before it is hard to find time to write because our days are filled with so many different things that are essential to be able to perform at this level. We have physical therapy appointments often and we are at the rink for at least 4- 5hours each day. I love it. It is amazing to have this be the one thing that I really need to focus on. The one thing that consumes all my energy and I am happy. Many people have a complaining attitude, but I am under the impression and mindset that when things aren’t going my way I need to look at where I am, I wake up every day in a beautiful house, in a different country, and the only thing I have paid for it with is hard work. I am incredibly grateful. I am grateful to my equipment manager, I am grateful for my teammates, I am grateful for the young players on my team that are working hard to improve to help us with extra lines in games, and my coach and my general manager. I am grateful for everything that I get. In the last few weeks, we have had hard games, moves houses, grown as a house, as a team. I got new skates. I got news skates. I can say that again because I am in awe. We went out, in Sweden. I didn’t even feel the need to drink because I am so close to my friends here that I can be myself without having to do that. As I sit here on my amazing lawn and write this, I miss my family. I imagine my dad saying he is proud of me and that I deserve this and it makes it all better. It is hard to be away from them, but we did this together and the only thing I want to do is make them proud. We are meeting new people and it is fun to be able to learn more about Sweden from people our age. This is going to be the most demanding year on my body and I am ready for the challenge, working hard every day at skate and workout, and putting it all on the line for games. We have a game today and then several days of hard work before a day off, and then onto the week before our first regular season game next Friday. I am loving every minute and will hopefully write more soon.