Humbled

Life has a way of keeping you on your toes, I thought the most devastating part of my November was coming from hockey. To keep stories short at the end of the day all we have is the ourselves and the people around us. I would give up my dreams and everything that I could possibly ever want for my family and their health. Hopefully, the worst of November is over and all we can do now is to put one foot in front of the other, each day to make ourselves and the people around us better.

My world here in Sweden has entirely changed. I didn't get the offers I was hoping for. In the moments when I had no control over my situation, I prayed. In my short life experience, every time a road block appears no matter how big or how small I have been lead in the right direction. From not playing Division 1 college hockey, to breaking up with who I thought was the love of my life, to almost dying at 21 years old, through all these road blocks or diversions, I have found my path. I have developed a faith that in the end all will be okay. All might not be okay right now but it will be. I have moved to Umeå, Sweden. A very far north city where it seems to never really be daytime. I am currently playing in the second highest league in Sweden. I am going to play in the SDHL again but for now I have the faith that I am along the path that I need to be and I will work hard to make myself deserving of the highest league. At the end of the day, I am getting to live my dream. I play hockey for a living and I am sustaining myself, with the craft that I have worked on for the last 21 years. In Umeå, I am play for Björklöven. I have a beautiful rink, amazing coaches and supporting staff and I think that I can thrive here to get where I want to go. My downfall is that I am so hard on myself, but that is what is driving me to be better, and I want to be the best. I want to write so many different things. I want to write that I am struggling, but a voice inside my head tells me to look at what I am doing, it might not be what I want but it will get me there. Friends from back home tell me to live in the moment and to have fun but I am finding it hard to live in the moment, I am finding it hard to want to do anything except work hard so that I can help this team this season, become better myself and achieve the things that I want, need and desire (The SDHL). The Arizona Coyotes coach that I talked about previously still pops into my mind. I don't wanna live in my present, I want to live for my future. Although I don't think that is necessarily the best attitude or perspective to take, I don't want anything else.

I have found that having something to put your faith into is very helpful. At the end of the day, all I want is for my family to be healthy and happy for many many years to come. I have faith that the hard times are there for a reason and that each day we put one foot in front of the other we are working towards our destiny and becoming the people we are meant to be. I have faith that I am supposed to learn something for each road block and I have faith that it will all work out uniquely and exquisitely perfect. My November has humbled me, but maybe it was just what I needed to find where I am supposed to be.