September 29th

The routine of the days is becoming solidified with most days not starting until 10am. Then breakfast, then some sort of activities and then off to the rink for anywhere between 6 to 8 hours. We have been taking public transportation and often have over an hour commute to the rink. I find it fun to do this before practice but once the work for the day is done the commute can be very tiresome after a long day. We have played four games. Loosing 3 and tying one. They were close games and we have gotten better as a team. I find myself down and not feeling the greatest as it comes to my hockey ability. I believe this is because before points and goals came easy for me and here I am expected to fill that roll as well as others. In previous teams we didn’t play much defense, so it was easy to just focus on scoring goals and making plays for my teammates. Here I have to remind myself to ensure there is a third man high and to be brutally physical in the corners. I am struggling with the switch to offense after playing so defensively in our defensive zone. I think that as athletes we are often our hardest critiques. I find myself not speaking nicely to myself and think that that is probably one of my biggest weaknesses. I have been listening to podcasts, many of them about ways to pull yourself out of these holes and about how confidence is essential to all aspects of your game. I am trying to be a professional in all aspects of my game, from eating to stretching to working out to mental toughness. I think that the mental toughness aspect is something new to my game and something that needs to be improved upon. I know how to play hockey, I just need to put it all together. We play two games this weekend and my goals for those games is to be relentless, be physical, and to create quality opportunities for myself and my teammates. When I say be relentless, I mean forecheck as hard as I can and know that to play my game I need to be the first one on the puck (if I do this however, I am going to have to be the first one back as well which means an extreme amount of skating which I am going to have to accept and grind). I am big and I need to use that to my advantage, and I need to capitalize on the opportunities given to me. I have been trying to visualize different things and think that hopefully when I can master that skill I will be able to use it to my advantage. Feeling down is stemming from many aspects from not winning to negative people on the ice. The podcasts I have listened to have focused on not worrying about the opinions of others and mental stamina and mental confidence. I think that I will use those when I hear negative things on the ice and think that it is important to tune those things out. Not everyone is going to be a fan of you and it is important to surround yourself with people that bring you up which I have found in many people here. My roommate Alexa makes notions to Eagles and Ducks and we talk about this often as a house. The eagles will soar high above and bring people up with them, as the ducks with quack quack and complain. It makes more sense when she explains it. We haven’t done much outside of hockey, everyday life and fika because the demands of practice leave you pretty tired for anything else. I am writing this is a coffee shop with Lex, Fumi and Jenn. We decided to come here and sit so that we were doing something besides being in the house all day before practice. I am excited for the games this weekend and ready to put it all together. It is beginning to turn cold here and I am taking advantage of the sunlight when I can. I think that I will start waking a bit earlier and going for a walk to soak up the last bit of sunlight before the dark winter. I need to have fun at hockey because that is when I play my best, I need to not worry about perceptions of others and play the game I know that I can and love. It has been two months since coming here and I am proud of the person I have become. When I first got here I didn’t think I would make it two weeks and here we are, embracing this experience and ready to work hard to make GHC better everyday.